Robocop vs Terminator

 

So people are getting mighty critical against ERB during this most recent storm and I'm just going to act on behalf of an absent dictator of you all and say chiiiiiill.

 

ERB stands for many things. Extremely Large Budget, and Entertainment Run Business, for Elders Ranging to Babies, called Epic Rap Battles... of history.

 

Ok. so we know there's a huge audience to please in turn for their thriving business. 

 

When all is said and done this battle was scheduled for release at this time as promotion for the new terminator movie. 

 

We've seen this before with Blackbeard and Assassin's Creed and both battles succeeded in making a strong piece of content out of what could easily have only been an advertisement.

 

in that sense, I applaud you and every ERB except one has something remarkable about it. 

 

My feelings on this battle are again mixed and, to keep this less wordy and dragged out, I will focus on aesthetics, good lines, and the bad lines.

 

The neutral lines are not worth pointing out here because they're pretty obvious and most are only included to appeal to the lower tier demographic so I will not factor them into the art aspect of this battle because they are needed.

 

I don't want to not acknowledge the slightly better than neutral lines, so let's have a quick run down:

 

pretend the clips 

 

That they couldn't fix your funky Hans and Franz accent

 

That movie failed Detroit worse than the automotive industry!

 

And I'll be sweeping up your robo-bits like paperclips when I'm done

 

You look like Krang wearing a cold-pressed juicer

 

I still love you, Alex
Bullshit
Your sex life is terminated

 

You only know a programmed robot boner for John Connor

 

I couldn't find a decent rhyme in your line if I was in search mode

 

 

So those were the neutral lines that I don't have anything interesting to say about. not bad, but not crazy. That being said, the remaining lines were either great or bad. with a few being not worth commenting on.

 

 

Let's start with good lines. i liked this battle, let's give it some positive response.

 

 

They sent you back to kill a child, but he's defeating you still
They should have made a time-travelling morning after pill

 

Let's talk about these indirect lines holding so much weight.

The Terminator's purpose was to kill John Connor while he was a child so he would not grow up to lead the rebellion against the machines. Suggesting that the Terminator is having trouble completing the task of preventing a certain person's existence. Since this person is a child, being at a stage of his life much closer to his conception, the exaggeration suggests it would be more efficient to see that the child was never born, not simply killed. A pill, an object that is by no means more threatening than a robot machine body builder, in turn would ironically be more efficient in preventing the child's existence. The way that the line is presented is why it is funny. The word "they" identifies that some entity is responsible for the terminator's mission and allows the same word to be used without causing it to be a reference with no backstory. It is overall a diss to his ability as a fully functioning terminator to suggest that encapsulated medicine can do his job better. and its just funny. Its a reference that isn't laid out on the table for you like "I'll be back" or "hasta la vista". It requires drawing connections otherwise overlooked or undiscovered by the storyline set by both movies. it requires analyzing the overarching themes from a higher persepective and understanding the way certain disses can be rephrased. but with that being said, why were so many references so lackluster when you have gold like this right in front of you? I don't know.

 

to beat roided out C-3PO
I got the mic control like alt delete
Your move, creep

 

Of all the references to other robots/machines/characters in this battle, this was the only one that contributed anything more than the person's name to the diss.

 

X wing Commander/C-3PO/Krang/Geordi La Forge

 

comparing terminator to a cowardly and wimpish robot from starwars with nothing more than an artificial amount of muscle mass to differentiate the two is just a nice diss to slip in there.

 

and I like the reference to computers, assuming that robocop can take over the supercomputer structure of the terminator with a simple keyboard command.

 

Robocop's most famous line came smoothly and with emphasis as the beat stopped and the camera zoomed in. I like the delivery of that line.. just not the package it was shipped in.

 

My rapping attack is a massive dispatch of bazookas and gats and grenades
That rapidly bashes your brains and dismantles that puny peashooter that fits in your leg

 

we talked about the fast rap scapegoat of the short A sound back in copperfield vs houdini... this is the better way to pull it off. not too many filler words in here, in fact, the only two words I would consider as "filler" are "rapping attack", but that's the source what he's describing, so its not filler. its an intricate arsenal of words just as its an arsenal of weaponry he is describing.

 

 

 

Then mail your space helmet back to Geordi La Forge!

 

cute reference mocking the outfit

 

 

You're too slow, I blow more steam through machines than a barista

 

this is again a line similar to the time traveling morning after pill in the fact that its not a tabeltop reference. usually when writing these battles you have all these lines layed out that you're going to start with, lines that write themselves. there's no way this line wrote itself. it's a far out connection that works well as a threat by comparison and a double entendre. a good technique is to say that someone does something more or less than someone else does a similar act and its always very powerful. a barista is someone who works with hot coffee machines, what they blow steam through. to blow steam through something is to completely destroy it, and its a good analogy between how the terminator destroys the man made from a machine and baristas brew espresso.

 

 

now for the best line 

 

Based on my detailed analysis of the lyrical structure of battle raps
It's time for your next shit verse, and then I'll be back

 

I've been thinking all week of how to describe this line in words but its such a contradiction. its simple..but so powerful.. and here's why.

 

the first part is a movie reference. but its also insinuating that the terminator, a machine not native to the rap battle scene, was programmed to analyze the lyrical structure of rap battling. by describing that precisely, its not a filler line. its not fact statement. it's one of the greatest layups in ERB history.

 

the line describes itself - its almost like he uses the shortcoming in having to analyze the way rap battles work to cleverly insert a killer catch phrase. note that this is so well portrayed because of the way the catch phrase is not randomly insterted. it has a layup, a secondary layup, and the catch phrase is used as an immense dunk on not necessarily robocop, but more or less on the notion that catch phrases are not limited to random insertion but can be woven throughout a story structure.

in layman's terms, its like this:

what's he talking about? he's just detailing how rap battles work.. ok, the lyrical structure insists that robocop goes first, terminator goes second, robocop goes again and then... OOOH ITS THE CATCHPHRASE HE LITERALLY MEANS HE IS GOING TO RAP AGAIN ITS NOT JUST SAYING "IF YOU TRY TO BEAT ME I'LL BE BACK" BUT HE USES THE ALMOST NEVERCHANGING STRUCTURE OF RAP BATTLES AS THE FOUNDATION FOR A JOKE ON THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF RAP BATTLING ITSELF! 

 

I just can't put it in better words. this plane of what can be parodied has never been traversed - never have they parodied the actual structure of rap battling and used what could have been a monotone and redundant catch phrase to relate it. 

 

It's almost like he's brushing off the rap battle as a whole, saying that robocop raps, no one cares, now its time for the terminator to rap, what he knows they all came for but isn't quite egocentric about it, and then lets robocop know that he is well aware of the orderly fashion in which their lyrical war will be waged and lets him take his turn, but assures him that he will be back..

 

ugh.

 

the rest of the catch phrases in this battle most definitely do not hold up to what gloriousness this line stands for, so I'll just pretend this was the only line in the battle and move on.

 

nope, can't get over the rest of the lyrics.

 

This battle had plenty lines that could have fulfilled a much higher potential. Let's start here:

 

 

Freeze
I suggest you use your right to remain silent

 

people may praise this line by saying "he's holding him under arrest but he's also saying to not rap! oooh!" yes, but both of those entendres are made possible by language in the miranda rights that they did not alter or repurpose in any way. I wouldn't change it because its an appealing way to start the battle and its a lower level of reference that many can understand.

 

 

And I didn't think I had any feelings left inside me
But my heart was surely broken after Terminator 3

 

the way he says "inside me" makes me cringe. the girth of the rhyme scheme proposed in the next line is "-ator 3". by forcing the rhyme of "me" in the previous line, you're stressing the wrong syllable. it's "inSIDE" not "INside". the way the meter here is working is "and i DIDnt think i HAD any FEELings left INside me." this isn't that bad, and I'll let it slide, but Bart Baker I need to have a word with you about this and I'll be elated to join your cast as permanent lyric doctor". there's a better way to reference not having a heart or emotions. They could say:

 

For a man who lacks the balls, two installments was enough

but the third made broken hearts of men who can't even love

 

and here's how it works. if you don't like the way the no heart reference was pulled off, we have the idea of relating a third installment to trying to give terminator a third testicle, accusing him of being a man made robot born without balls and manufactured to have two like normal men.

 

I am T-800 Cyberdyne Systems Model 101

 

this is his manufacture information. period. who taught you how to rap? picasso? i wouldn't change this, I wouldn't use it at all. that's like me making a rap about a camera and using a whole line just to name it.

 

 

They left off your balls when your suit was created

 

did they? I didn't know. I could've known if you said this cleverly (which you did early by saying puny pea shooter that fits in your leg because there's no room for his penis). they mentioned this twice and the second time was worse than the first. I would change it to:

 

 

it's a cyber bully fighting a fiber induced hunk

made you out of scrap metal but left no room for your junk

 

initial idea / scrap metal is junk

 

Nice try, but I'm too quick on the draw
What can go wrong for you will, creep; Murphy's Law

 

ok. so you already used the creep reference once but I'll let that slide.

Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Alex Murphy was a Detroit cop who was killed in the line of fire on duty. He subsequently had his brain and face put into the first bot in the OCP Crime Prevention Unit series and became Robocop.

 

 

I think that you guys accidentally used the definition of the diss that you meant to use instead of the actual diss.

seriously? you just say murphy's law and then use a semi colon to label it murphy's law... when the guy''s name is MURPHY!?

 

The way this is set up, it sounds like an accidental reference. the line 

 

I'm too quick on the draw and what can will go wrong

so put up your prosthetic arms and abide to Murphy's Laws

 

this infers that he is insisiting Terminator follow Alex Murphy, aka Robocop's laws - double meaning being that murphy's law states what can go wrong will

 

It's Judgement Day, baby; Hasta la vista

 

terminator... after that beautifully constructed simple yet fitting reference of "i'll be back", you literally waste the last line of the battle listing off two references....

 

 

 

and that my friends, killed this battle.

 

a cheesy but clever substitute could be

 

something about him being a clunky old robot computer in much need of downsizing to compete with the times, and comparing him to how Windows computers have tried this with upgrading from Vista to Windows 8 by saying Hasta La Vista. they already mentioned windows with ctrl alt delete

 

 

 

 

Lyrics aside, this battle was very aesthetically pleasing.

 

the foley effects at the beginning showed signs of danger

the instrumental included many action movie styled sounders strung throughout that turned the setting into that of a fictional movie 

you can't get a better robocop costume

paper is flying, isolation is evident, danger is afoot, rescuing is needed.

inside jokes in the analyzation segments are on fleek

lighting on terminator's face is like eye candy

robocop's voice wasn't flat but was right where it needed to be for the most part. except for farmer's market. should've capitalized. tisk.

 

I understand the difficulty in writing for an accent as particular as swarchzenegger, as there are certain sounds that must be made to make a convincing impersonation.

lloyd did the accent professionally, and I can't even try to imitate it because my swarchzenegger impression sounds like cookie monster on sleeping pills so I'm not gonna go there

being fresh as a prime directive is the new meme of the community and serves no other purposes. also, in the movie there were 3 prime directives, and they note that this is the 4th.

lloyd didn't start having lip spasms until midway through the battle, something I find confusing. why not the entire time? am I missing a referenec>

 

having the actual arnold at the end was killer, that's a new level of ERB right here, having the actor portraying the character portrayed in the battle portray himself at the end of said battle.

 

nice.