[ERB] Lewis & Clark VS Bill & Ted
Let's jump into our aesthetic analysis first:
Lewis & Clark - early world explorers from the 1800's
Bill & Ted - time traveling nimrods from the 1980's
If you missed my analysis of Houdini vs Copperfield where I was talking about universes colliding, here is where it works well.
Two outrageously different life styles -
one of simplicity, nature, human resources and lack of technology
one of complexity, unnaturality, futuristic resources and primed off of technology
so obviously, Bill and Ted have the advantage of being newer, more innovative, and more technologically priveleged than Lewis and Clark.
Lewis and Clark's landscape consists of a few different areas and angles. their main land is by a cliff with rushing water. the aesthetic that makes this so beautiful is that the water slows and speeds up and looks almost like paper mache. This is an asset to the overall texture of their world, which has a sketch like, old-paper styled markings superimposed on the foreground. It almost looks like you're peering into a storybook or journal and seeing exactly what Lewis and Clark depicted on their journey, underneath the natural decay of the paper through time.
That's deep, and that's what makes Epic Rap Battles of History so incredible.
Sacagawea's inclusion was just as perfect as it needed to be. It mocked Lewis and Clark indirectly, overexaggeratingly showing how little work they did or how underqualified they were for this expedition. Sacagawea is shown catching a much larger fish, paddling the boat with much more effort than lewis and clark, and saving the latter group from a bear attack.
I just love the idea of portraying Lewis and Clark as naive and unattentive to their actual surroundings, and having Sacagawea doing all the work to the point where they don't realize there was ever work to be done.
The only thing I didn't like about Lewis and Clark's portrayal are the voices. Rhett and Link have been in 3 rap battles so far and their voices in all of them are more or less the same. While it's always fun to admire the chemistry between the two, a simple choice could have been to make them sound old-timey or before Bill and Ted's time. They sound like two modern men exploring a pre-modern world, and a change in voice could have set these two roles apart from their others.
Aside from this, the costumes were extremely fitting with the times and scenery, Sacagawea's portrayal was right where it needed to be, they even had a bear. A bear! The bear is a good example of why ERB can do so many more things.
If I was making a rap battle in my living room, I couldn't even think to think of buying a 900 dollar bear costume just for a 12 second part in the battle - but they have the resources, and they can just do it. they just do it without hesitation, and it works so well.
I especially love instances where they manipulate space and its planned so well, primarily when LC is on the boat and the boat sails past the boundaries of the screen and Clark keeps leaning back to stay on screen - that's wonderful. that's superb planning and story boarding and its instances like these that, no pun intended, blow me out of the water.
Another great thing is the inclusion of characteristic behavior in the battle. Lewis and Clark discover two unnatural and never before seen beings called Bill and Ted, and they sketch them in their book as dickweeds. I feel like that is something lewis and clark would do in the event that they ever met Bill and Ted in real life, and that's such a strong factor to include in a choreographed rap battle.
Also, if you were wondering, the book says this:
two radical and most excellent dudes the complete something time travel? what is this Dr Who of the eighties? by the way remember the show Romo? (maybe) I'm kind of burnt that it ended so abruptly. apparently HBO pulled the budget for Game of Thrones so whatever. I have spent my too much time trying to figure out how to get HBO now they have made it insanely difficult to give them my money.
they catalog them as "weedus dickus", translating it into their old time language. this is a perfect way to add more disses than the music aspect allows and we see it a lot in this battle.
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Bill and Ted stand in what is almost an identical replica of the Circle K parking lot, granted the K has been turned into an E for Epic.
there's crumpled paper on the ground, there's posters in the window, it's remarkable how accurate this background was created to be.
the light fixtures on the ceiling provide the only light in their world, leaving crevaces darker and barren.
Bill and Ted was a perfect excuse to reuse old clips of the old ERB contestants, because its ironic how almost all of the figures who appeared in the excellent adventure have been in ERBs.
The medallions say "be excellent to each other" and they depict the coined headshots of Bill and Ted.
The phonebooth was perfect, sam macaroni looked just like Rufus, but Peter, I must commend you.
You performed Ted like no other. and I know it was once considered to have Smosh be Bill and Ted, but in all honesty, I think it just would've been Smosh vs Lewis and Clark. You got his facial expressions, vocal inflections, bodily movements, and aloof persona absolutely perfect. The shirt, watch, costumes, all identical. Lloyd also did a great job as Bill, looking very fidgity and locked in with his awkward movements. the only thing I think that Lloyd could've done extra is this scrunched up expression that Bill usually has with his lip - other than that, Bill and Ted won solely on their portrayal.
But now, to the lyrics.
[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
LEWIS AND CLARK!
VERSUS!
BILL AND TED!
BEGIN!
[Lewis and Clark]
You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark
Cause we cut a path through emcees like a walk in the park
I don't like the introductory line, I just provides a simple rhyme scheme and serves the same purpose that the title cards does. I can only see a line like this existing for the purpose of telling the audience who someone is, and that only needs to happen if there is a 3rd party and so forth. About 4 seconds prior to this line, the announcer makes clear that these two people are Lewis and Clark, so I don't agree with the first line.
The second line is a pretty neat play on words - as LC were adventurers, they would cut paths through areas to reach other areas, similar to what pathways in parks are used for. They say that they are going to cut through Bill and Ted similar to how they create paths - or places to take a walk in the park - and it will be as easy as a walk in the park - a popular idiom such as "piece of cake" to explain how effortless something was.
And give 'em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts
Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked
This line continues the notion of depicting Lewis and Clark's personalities and hobbies into the battle - after they cut a path through BT, they'll do what the purpose of their expedition was for - to document new land and how to reach it. They will document this new path that they cut through BT and carefully outline where they traveled, or where there footprints are. The joke here is that if there were footprints on BT's buttocks, it means they got their butts kicked by LC.
This is the perfect way to indirectly make so many references and I just love when lyrics take this approach.
We're two travelling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace
And we'll own you on the mic like the Louisiana Purchase!
This is a good segway line, it just explains what their purpose is and they make a simple yet funny Louisiana Purchase joke that wrote itself.
You're worthless. Your future selves should've told you that
This line is reminiscent of how, at the beginning of BT's excellent adventure, their future selves meet them in the Circle K parking lot and tell them how awesome what they are about to do is. its a weird paradox because Bill and Ted only come back from the past because they went there, and their present selves only decide to go there because their future selves told them how awesome it was...
Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back
This is a funny line because BT can go back in time, like they do in the movie, but Clark suggests they go to the time when Dr. Who first came about and return the stolen idea of a phonebooth that grants access to time travel.
We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels
Rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks and eagles
Lewis and Clark discovered/described/outlined 174 plants and 134 species of animals that were new to science at the time. While this line just lists a few... that's all it does. Granted, lines like these are necessary in ERB to appeal to a younger demographic who doesn't understand the rest of the lines, plus, memorizing the list of animals they say can be both educational and yield replayability. From an advanced lyrical standpoint, obviously this isn't a line I favor, but I understand its inclusion.
And plus flora galore! And according to our observations
These two dickweeds right here are severely endangered
I talked about this line earlier, but dickweed is one of the many left field words that BT use on their adventure.
the scenario they create here is that they add that they've discovered multiple forms of plant life. they say that they discovered a species called dickweed, referring to Bill and Ted, and that this species is severly endagered, or is about to lose the rap battle.
this one applies the most of all because of the term "weed", which is a kind of plant that LC could have plausibly discovered growing in the west. They say they're endangered because LC are going to destroy them in this battle, but this is also another example of how they use the lifestyle and terminology of one universe to create multiple meanings when applied to other universes and scenarios. LC surely found multiple species that were scarce and existence and possibly endangered by that logic.
We inspired pioneers and travelers near and far
You inspired air guitar and Dude, Where's My Car?
Most people will say "Matteo, this second line is just pointing out a fact, that's bad, right?" no, not in the case of a comparison. Although it takes two lines to get the point across, the point of this line is to say how LC have a lasting impact on the field they are credited in, but BT inspired nothing but meaningless and dopey hobbies and a failed movie that copies the same personas of BT.
We conquered much greater dangers in our trek through Mother Nature
So step off, but tell Bill's stepmom "don't be a stranger"
This is a great and innovative way to make a hot mom joke, because they don't just say it. They go around the corner by using the type of pickup line that any grown man would use to pick up a grown woman. They want BT to go away but they want Bill's mom to introduce herself and frequent with these two explorers.
[Bill and Ted]
Bill's mom is hot, but that joke was most heinous
I've heard better insults dropped from Socrates' anus
That's my stepmom, Ted Let's keep it excellent between us
And show these boy scouts how it goes in San Dimas
It's natural for Bill and Ted to have an expository quartet that outlines what their relationship and universe is about, seeing how LC had the same.
The friendly rivalry about Bill and Ted about Bill's hot stepmom is prominent in the excellent adventure. before the two rappers reconcile and begin to work together, Ted just wants to point out that Bill's mom IS hot, but the joke was disrespectful and not insulting in the least.
Calling LC boy scouts is a huge diss, just because how similar the two are. Boy scouts are trained to explore the wild and develop abilities to survive off of nature, similar to what LC did. He's saying that LC are nothing more than young boys in a training camp learning how to roam around the woods - and although they are obviously much more than that, rap battling is about belittling your opponent as much as possible. "Boy scouts" does the trick.
We're quick when we spit like Billy the Kid with his guns
And you'll be verbally kicked in the nut-Sacagawea-puns
I find it to be natural of Bill and Ted to point out the fact that nut-sacagawea COULD be used as a pun instead of blatantly using it as a pun. They would be like, dude, that's totally a pun! It's a good excuse to use a predictable wordplay joke without being stale.
A teen mom carried you and your troops
They should've let the baby lead, and put you in the papoose
best line in the battle. ERB gold. BT are saying that a teen mom, sacagawea, is the entire reason that LC was able to succeed and travel without getting slaughtered by native indians. sacagawea also lead them through the land and helped them to know where to go. BT are saying that, since a young girl with a baby is the sole reason for their success, sacagawea's infant child would be more effective as a leader than LC. in this case, they switch the roles, saying that LC should be the ones carried in the papoose, not the baby. a papoose is a board that native americans use to carry babies with little to no effort.
...I lost the semifinal spelling bee in 8th grade with that word..
And if those native dudes knew what white dudes were gonna do
They woulda stopped you in Dakota They should totally Sioux
this isn't much of a straightforward diss, its more like saying that LC succeeded by accident. If native americans were aware of what the white settlers would do to their land, they would have never made good with LC and let them explore. because they did, however, white people took over native american land and ran them down to a minority in the country. BT say that LC deserved to be stopped before they could start, and the fact that they didn't and abused the native americans is ground for the latter to sue the former, sue being a play on words for the Sioux, natives native to Dakota.
Why don't you go back to exploring Napoleon's old swamps
Or you'll discover your Corps most triumphantly stomped
If LC doesn't resume their boring activities of exploring old swamp land, their coprs will be halted and stomped on by BT. Corps, or their troop of travelers, is a homophone for the word corpse, so it can also be interpereted as BT are going to kill LC if they don't back off.
Bill and Ted also met napoleon on their journey.
[Lewis and Clark]
Did you hear that, Meriwether? I think they mean to brawl
I'll take Neo. I'll take the one that no one knows at all
wow, 2 starting lines in a row that aren't needed for LC? The only reason I see for this line is to distinguish which one is lewis and which one is clark. i see no other reason for the brawl part other than to fill that void left by the merriwether part.
The second part of the line is a good line, it goes beyond the limits of Bill and Ted and mocks their actors, alex winter and keaneau reeves respectively. keaneau went on to be widely known as Neo from the matrix, but alex winter never saw popularity beyond his role as Bill. Normally, it's taboo to diss two movie characters for something about their actors, but in certain situations like mentioning the future fame of both actors or a scandal that an actor was involved in, its potential that can be fulfilled.
From the Falls of Black Eagle to the Pacific
We put the 'dis' in dysentery cause we spit sick
dysentery is one of the most widely known factors of the early 1800's, possibly made popular by the Oregon Trail video game. LC say that, from all angles of their journey, they have always remained the sickest and most awesome rappers. spitting sick relates to dysentery because it is a disease that wrecked havoc on those who settled in the land that LC explored.
Without Rufus you'd be useless on all the trails we blazed
You couldn't navigate your way out of a Circle K
just another good line that wrote itself. it's one of those things where these lines are the first you think of when it comes to the matchup, rhyming people's names with an adjective and drawing simple comparisons between two parties.
Send over Garth and Wayne, because you turkeys aren't worthy
Suffering your raps is a most bogus journey
this line compares Bill and Ted to garth and wayne, two similar characters who have famously used the term worthy. turkeys are animals that LC may have bumped into. the last part refers to the second BT movie, saying that listening to BT rap the first time is just as bad as the movie and its sequel were.
[Bill and Ted]
Man, they totally burned us. I feel like such a doofus
What do we do? I don't know
[Rufus]
Be Excellent
[Bill and Ted]
Rufus!
While its not good for a rapper to concede to the opponent, this just displays the lost and dumbfounded nature of Bill and Ted that is cured by the wisdom of Rufus throughout the film.
He's right, dude. We don't have to take this kind of abuse
From some Paul Bunyan dudes in potato sack shoes
this is the mandatory outfit mocking section of the battle
You rode a river one direction; we travelled four dimensions
Rescued bodacious babes, and get back for detention
another really good line that draws comparisons between both universes. its lines that target both sides of the battle that make it such a strong battle overall. and if there aren't lines like this.. then what do the two parties have in common? BT say that all LC did was travel one direction through a river, but BT crossed 4 dimensions of time and space unified through physics.
I've seen your future, Mr. Lewis and I don't wanna be rude
But spoiler alert: You totally kill yourself, dude
I don't like this line too much, but it does display how Ted has a bumbling respect for elders, calling them Mr. whatever. It also targets how they see into the future. I just don't like how they just say that he kills himself. there's opportunities to say that more creatively, epecially when suicide is just the most likely option and isn't 100% certain. it is possible that he was murdered, and since no one knows, that leaves the opportunity for Bill and Ted to have gone to the future and do one of two things: 1. find out if it was suicide or murder 2. if it was murder, they could tell him that they themselves were the murderers, with rhyming or something. there's a few creative ways to put this and I feel like this line is strictly something Bill and Ted would say. but the controversy there is: if the entire battle was ONLY things that bill and ted would say, it would be pointless and idiotic. there would be no crazy connections and next level thinking, just a lot of dude's, excellents, and woooahs. so what's the threshold? you decide.
So we offer you peace with these resplendent medallions
And we claim this battle for the Wyld Stallyns!
mandatory wyld stallyns reference is a good way to end the battle, its like alright we already said everything we needed to say so let's have them finish the battle the way they finished the first movie and the way they would have liked to finish it. I can't imagine them doing anything else for the closing line.
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC! *Grizzly bear growls* Huh?
*Bear continues to growl*
Eh... RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
The lines I would change are these:
No book report can teach you how we're bout to embark
we cut a path through class clowns like a walk in the park
I've seen your future Mr. Lewis, through those gun shot wounds,
I can tell our raps have had a lasting impact on you