Harry Houdini VS David Copperfield

 

[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
DAVID COPPERFIELD!
VERSUS!
HARRY HOUDINI!
BEGIN!

[Harry Houdini]
You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini!
Slippery like linguine, sneaking out of teeny-weeny

Little spaces small enough to fit your talent, David

 

So Houdini starts off with a metaphor for his talent. His escape talents are probably not credited to the fact that his body is slippery like pasta, but it was mentioned because of the rhyme scheme. This situation was opportunized by the rhyme scheme that follows Houdini. Otherwise, there's no reason to mention linguine.

 

You're not a challenge David
Your biggest endowment's your bank account balances, baby!

 

I find a lot of decisions in this battle to be strange. Here are two of them.

You know I don't like when people add a comma and then the word that rhymes just to have it rhyme, but that's not the case here. the words after the rhyming word "david", "david", and "baby" all rhyme together. And while I find the structure of saying "david" after the rhyming word to be a catchy tactic, it could've done without. That ending word got stale and grew to a point where they just needed to find words that rhymed with David instead of removing it all together and leaving the "talent" "challenge" "balance" rhyme scheme alone.

 

Another strange decision is the word choice. It happens again at the end of Houdini's second verse, but i'll get there later. So the biggest endowment line refers to how much net worth Copperfield has, 800 million dollars. That's huge, so Houdini says that David's biggest gift he has is the money he is worth. 2 things are wrong with this: pointing out something as immense as 800 million dollars as the largest factor in a group of things is plausible. it leaves room for an ambiguous amount of other high quality things to be beneath it.

If the largest factor is 800 million, the second largest could be anywhere from 1 penny to 799 million dollars.

is 799 million dollars huge? yeah, and that amount of money, through the word choice, could be equal to the amount of skill david copperfield has. its just the phrasing, that's all.

 

 

For example, if I wanted to insult ERB by saying "romney vs obama is your biggest video!" yes, that's true, and every other one of their videos has many millions of views, which is still hugely admirable.

 

 

The way this should've been made an insult is saying that his ONLY endowment is his bank account. If I were to tell ERB that their only big video is Romney vs Obama, would it be true? No. But part of battle rapping is to overexaggeratingly accuse people of being worse than they really are. its no doubt that copperfield is a great illusionist, but Houdini's purpose as the battle rapper is to make it sound like Copperfield sucks!

So abracadabra, you billowy bitch
Man, you look like a pirate on a Las Vegas strip

 

Houdini mocks the artsy style of Copperfield's magic - billowy being a term related to smoke.

this line is a decent transition, nothing outrageous but a diss nonetheless.

 

the only problem I have with this part is that the flow is molasses. the problem with fast rapping beats is that there's a fast paced tempo and theres a slow paced tempo to go by, the only happy medium that exists is to break the rules (like in the beginning of the battle)

I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil, you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag
I'm badder with patter and matter of fact
You can't match my skill if you sawed me in half

 

This is the first instance of the fast rap plague that is approaching. The easiest and most regimented way to create a fast paced rap is to just split up the syllables and do a static iambic pentameter:

 

ahhh----dadadadadadadadadadadadada!

 

dadadadaDAdadadadaDAdadadaDAdadaDAdadaDA

 

then throw in a bunch of words that rhyme with matter, one of the easiest words to pronounce in a fast rap.

if you noticed what I just did, it's

dadadadada

and what rhymes with that? flash, badder, patter, matter, match, half

 

no one would notice this minus a few, but that short a rhyme scheme is the easiest to master in fast rapping. I myself have fallen culprit to the short "a" rhyme scheme excuse for fast rapping, and I'm not saying its wrong to do so, I just think its funny how that sound appears to be the first sound thought of when writing fast raps. short a's and short i's.

 

another thing I hate about fast raps in ERB's is that they end waaay to soon. the end of this verse was so abrupt, I was kind of left hanging and lost the momentum of the energy. This is also evident in Edgar Allan Poe's last verse - just as you feel like he's on a roll it just stops.

 

[David Copperfield]
When I was a child, you were a god to me
I had to do what you do
But now you're like a Chinese wall to me
Bitch, I'll walk right through you

 

This is a good section of the battle. a great start to Copperfield's verse. when two battlers know eachother in real life, it is important to acknowledge the relationship they have. its especially powerful to acknowledge the diminishing of someone's honor over time, when one once looked up to someone and they no longer do, its a very powerful connection.

This ain't the magic that you're used to
I float a rose, hands free, like it's Bluetooth

 

this is a cool line, as it also touches on the way magic has been modernized in the same way digital technology has.

 

My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant
The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant

 

this is comparing two similar illusions that both magicians pulled off. houdini made an elephant appear to disappear and copperfield made the statue of liberty appear to disappear. the comparison here is that copperfield made something much larger than an elephant disappear, something who he argues has a foot larger than an elephant.

You failed at making movies, and you failed at making kids
You should stick to what you're good at and lock them lips

 

here's another example of overexaggerating something - the houdinis were unable to have children, but the fault belonged to his wife, not Harry himself. the accusation is that Houdini was the problem - something you can argue as a battle rap factor.

 

Copperfield says that houdini only has a talent for locking things up, and that he should lock his lips, or shut his mouth.

(Ohh!) Here's a tidbit that might drive you nuts
I bought half of your shit, and I keep it locked up

 

This is one of those lines where it just points something out - while its worthwhile to mention how copperfield has ownership of a museum which harbors Houdini paraphrenalia, it shouldn't just be said. and in this line, it took two whole lines to do nothing but provide a fact. whether the word "nuts" is a play on words or not, its a fact with no creative insight. while the point of the line is, again to make a connection in real life by telling Houdini something about the world after his death that would make him furious, it could've been worded better.

Got the slim fingers that were built for sleights
You're a chunky stuntman; dressed in tights

 

the bodily comparisons between the two is defnitely worth mentioning, as the lanky build Copperfield has grants him opportunities to be a slinky and decisive illusionist.

You talk shit about your hero; that ain't right

 

this line aint right. yet another fact followed by a filler line. the reference of Houdini disgracing the man who's name he took for himself could have easily fit in with the beginning. If Houdini can shame his hero, and houdini is copperfield's hero, it yields him the right to disgrace him in battle rap

 

 

But you can look up to me now; I know you like heights

 

the word "but" provides an excuse for the previous line's existence by relating this one to it. 

 

aside from that, this is a great line and a great way to end the first verse.

[Harry Houdini]
Ah! Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing
You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering

 

THIS IS EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY

THIS SCENARIO CREATION IS WHY ERB SURPASSES ALL OTHERS LIKE IT

THIS IS WHAT THEY HAVE THE OPPORTUNITIES TO DO

AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SHOULD DO FOR EVERY BATTLE

 

AND NOT JUST PARTS OF IT EITHER

I'm hanging by my ankles, on a crane I dangle
I got lox on my bagel that you couldn't handle
Smash your mirrors while your flying wires tangle
You can't hide shame with a camera angle

 

Another fast rap scapegoat. sound familiar?

starting off with a long note and then running into the iambic syllabic mayhem

 

-rap god fast rap-

 

The problem with this is the line about lox.

Lox is a fillet of brined salmon that is commonly frequented with bagels. Also, lox is a homonym of locks, which is what houdini is a pro with. he is saying copperfield couldn't come close to his skill by assuming he couldn't handle, escape from, or perform tricks with LOX(CKS) of the harmless nature found as a bagel topping.

 

This is a really clever play on words, something Zach Sherwin would write, however there's one word in this line that makes it problematic.

 

MY bagel.

 

I didn't get this line until I looked up the meaning of it, and its because of that word. If the line was

 

"I've SEEN, HAD, or EATEN lox on A bagel that you couldn't handle"

 

it would've been much more clear that the joke here was in the word Lox.

 

I seriously thought it was one of those Elvis and PB&B sandwhich things where Houdini may have had a fetish for lox bagels, because the word MY focuses the attention on the word BAGEL, leading the common viewer to possibly believe that the punchline lies within the word bagel.

 

I love this line, I'm just explaining my critical confusion with it.

[Criss Angel]
Did somebody say Angel?

[Harry Houdini]
No

[Criss Angel]
Oh

 

WHERE IS THE LISP!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!????

 

This battle should have been a trio. period.

no matter HOW GOOD Copperfield was portrayed, he's just not strong enough to hold so much weight as 1 of the only 2 rappers. I feel that Houdini had the potential to hold such weight, but it was diminshed by the matchup. if this was a battle of man's magic and something like wizardry, there could be so much more potential. but, this battle is one of those real-life plausible ones, and its therefore limited to the singular universe that each contestant brings. in battles where two parties that have similar features but are not entirely the same, like Lewis and Clark and Bill and Ted, these universes merge into what we've come to love as Epic Rap Battles of History. If ERB was so eager to use houdini and copperfield in the same battle, there needed to be a third person to balance that weight. we've seen it in Franklin v Mayes, Nye vs Newton, and others where a contestant who was requested but maybe is not as strong was supported or contradicted by a third party rapper. someone as interesting, controversial, doubted and dilusional as criss angel should have adopted Copperfield's last verse. I'm happy they chose not to though, because that lost potential will be tapped into with my next rap battle, which features Criss Angel.

[David Copperfield]
See what they'd be watching if it wasn't for me?
I remind the world that magic is supposed to make you happy

 

This line disses Criss Angel, obviously and then spits out this corny line that doesn't hold much weight in the battle. the same idea could have been present in another manner.

While you waste time proving everybody wrong
I'm backstage getting my supermodel groove on

 

this is another forced reference, I feel like they ran out of things to say at this point. it's funny to point something out like this and to have a girl portray his girlfriend and stage-mate in the battle, but this is where it gets controversial. is it lines like these that prove Copperfield to not be ERB worthy? is there not enough to say? are there not enough unique aspects of his universe to portray in the battle?

You can relax, take a private trip
To my private island, suck my private dick

 

This line is completely irrelevant. if you want to mention David's chain of 11 islands, well first of all helloooo, CHAINS??? secondly, he could've said something like "I'll own you 11 times, once for each of my islands". but then again, is this reference rap battle worthy?

I summon up a little Halloween brunch
Deep-fried sucker with a side of punch

 

good line. weird way to phrase it but it makes sense because punch can be associated with Halloween as a common beverage offering. houdini claimed he could survive the hardest blow to the chest but was caught off guard with a few punches he wasnt ready for, then died on halloween later that month.

 

-explain how they did the trick-

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC. RAP. BATTLES...
...OF
HISTORY!

 

 

 

In regards to aesthetics, this battle is nice.

the heartbeat in the background is reminscent of the copperfield tv special with the great wall of china, but it exists throughout the entire duration and gets very annoying.

the vocals had nice effects on them,

lloyd's harmonies at points were following the note of the heartbeats, and it made for a nice eerie contrast.

 

houdini definitely deserved more in regards to a battle, but the scenario depicted in his second verse saved this entire battle. it was beautiful, even though the continuation of him falling off the building was awkward, considering it skips the amount of time it takes for him to hit the bottom and skips to where he bounces back up.

 

Peter's performance as copperfield was like a trance, and his makeup was very well depicted.

 

you wonder when two people dressing up as so many characters will start to grow redundant and repetitive, but the little things like lloyd's eye makeup and peter's eyebrows change these people into becoming these characters.